Hey friends,
You guys doing okay? I've been finding myself in and out of a state of anxiousness the past couple of days. I think it's quite normal to be feeling that way during a time like this.
I have always had anxiety and as a child it was MUCH worse. It would stop me from going on school excursions. It was that bad. Somehow, I have learnt to deal with it and take a hold of it in a more understanding way. It's never been easy but I got there. What's helped me a lot was my spiritual journey. Learning to trust God with everything in your life is a very difficult thing to do when you've always tried to control everything around you.
I'm going to be bold and talk a little about my life growing up. I never grew up in a happy home. For me it was always trying to prepare myself for the next thing going wrong. That was a major part of my
anxiety as a child. I was always walking on eggshells and never had anyone to speak to. It wasn't something I could trust anyone with because it's not an easy thing to speak about.
Then, I grew older and found my calling a little more clearer with every year. I came to understand that each traumatic event that I've been through as a child pushed me a level up. As uncomfortable as it was for me, I've learnt how to stand on my own two feet and push back. In a way, my anxiety has become a very close friend of mine. I've sat down with it over the years and unpacked where it was all coming from. That, for me, has helped tremendously.
It is really important to be able to understand where your anxiety comes from and what kind of impact it has on your life. What is your anxiety stopping you from doing? It may be something simple like not being able to know what the future holds. This is normal anxiety but when it's stopping you from going out or sharing your space with people, this can be very dangerous for your mental health.
My anxiety had led me to believe that I was never fully prepared for any situation. I was never ready for what was going to take place and at that point in time no one understood the way I felt because I never spoke out about it. As I got older I understood that you could never truly be ready for anything that happens in life. A lot of the time nothing goes as planned and when it does we can all just breathe a sigh of relief.
I've pushed myself to have fun and try new things and in that way my anxiety and I found a common ground. It's different now as I've grown closer to God and believe that He is the only one who knows what my future holds and that nothing is in my control except the preparation for it. This has grounded me. I still have a long way to go though.
If anyone of you is or knows someone who is struggling with their anxiety in a way that is interfering with their life, I urge you to try and get the help you deserve. Even if it's just talking to your closest friend or family member or having them hold your hand (literally), please do it. It helps to not feel like you're going through it alone.
Wishing you a productive week,
Pran
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