Hey friends,
It's been a while since I've written to you. How have you been? I still can't believe we're in 2022!
I've been feeling a bit weary lately. There've been moments of panic and anxiety flaring up every so often, most my own fault, of course, but some are so out of my control that they've left me feeling helpless.
Do you ever feel like some days you're running around like a squirrel on cocaine and there's still just not enough hours in the day to get everything done? It's in these moments that I somehow get saved by some sudden clarity. It's a story that brings me so much grounding and brings me back to basics. During one very mundane workday, I had a little visitor fly through my bedroom window and climb up the curtain and into my room. I'm not a huge fan of insects let alone flying insects but I wasn't scared of this bee because I've come to realise that they're so much more afraid of us than we are of them and only if they feel threatened will they attack.
It started pacing up and down my curtain looking for a way to get out, for an opening. I watched this bee for a good 15 minutes. They're such resilient little creatures but I felt bad to see it struggling so I walked up to it (screaming internally, obviously), and pulled up the end of the curtain so it could fly out the bottom end. Did it help? Not at that moment. It took about an hour and a half for the bee to realise that there was another way out. I cannot express how happy I was that it exited my bedroom but it left me wondering if this is what we look like in God's eyes.
When we're so busy making plans and just doing, doing, doing. When we hit a tough spot in our journey and we keep going but come out frustrated because it feels like we keep going backwards and forwards and there's no progress, there's no open window for us to fly out. What if we just trusted that all our plans have been anointed? That what was set on your heart will come to fruition through God (Zechariah 4:6).
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it's not possible to do things on your own. It very much is but knowing that we sometimes take a long way around for certain things instead of just surrendering to the plan of God makes me realise that from God's point of view, He can see the bigger picture. He can see every move you've got and having your every step guided by your father is so much better, right? It makes you feel safe and secure.
Learning to let go has been a very hard thing for me but I'm grateful for all these little reminders. It gives me hope. It keeps me in check when I'm feeling overwhelmed and I aspire to fully surrender every aspect of my life to God the way that bee did so I can stop wasting time trying to figure EVERYTHING out on my own. It is human nature, I know and that's the beauty of it all.
Enjoy your 4 day week everyone!
Lots of love,
Pran
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